Much Ado About Nothing

Thursday, March 14 2002

The funny is that I never even lost any ground. Yesterday's panic started over nothing, cost me nothing and ended with me in the same position I'd been in before. The only possible casualty was my health that suffers from high stress and lack of sleep. Even that damage was minor and will be temporary.

None of this is news to me. At the height of my anxiety, I was still able to look over everything and saw pretty solid defenses. The barbarians weren't battering down the gates anywhere.

My problem was that I saw a pattern forming. As I said, the walls were closing in on me. I couldn't help but look at it as a slow and inevitable process. The slow part is true and that makes the inevitable part untrue. The pattern is forming but there are a thousand things I'll be able to do before it gets that bad.

I've gained something from the horror I experienced. Behind the survivor's mentality I put forth every day, there is a fundamental unhappiness. I can survive with it but I need to plan an offensive. Driving back the walls must be a priority now and not later when it's too late.

Today has been a pain day. Back when I was a store clerk, I used to spend a lot of time using the counter to hold myself up. It was because I was legitimately worn out over time but it had a bizarre effect. My arms started hurting like crazy and never stopped until after I quit that job. Now, they hurt again.

This time, there isn't a clear explanation. I'm not using my cane very much right now so there isn't that. I'm trying to watch my bad habits while typing. It's not that easy since I don't know exactly how I'm supposed to be doing it.

On the other hand, I'm pretty good at pain control. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Pain is the easiest of my symptoms to manage even without drugs. I should say without additional drugs because taking my regular meds is the first step in pain control. The second step is recognizing what is going on. There are usually additional symptoms making the pain worse. Today, there was fatigue so I drank some coffee.

Finally, I need to distract myself. Usually, there's tension involved somewhere so I'm listening to Mozart. I play computer games for the same reason. They draw me away from my physical self.

Last Monday, I did watch "Boston Public" but never got around to reviewing it. "Ally McBeal" was not on. The "Boston Public" episode wasn't very good to say the least. It's three days later and I barely remember some of what happened.

The problem was that the "issue of the week" had little or nothing to do with the rest of the show. A high school senior agreed to do a naked photo shoot for a men's magazine. For some reason, a teacher decided that this would ruin the rest of her life. Nevermind that many, if not most, actresses got noticed because of their bodies. The teacher could have suggested the girl take some acting courses too but concentrated on how terrible naked pictures are.

Unfortunately, the stinkiness didn't end there. There was a powerful and moving story that got pushed down to subplot status. Guber and the hook lady broke up. He fired her because he believed she struck a student and he believed Harry Senate over her. This should have been the episode but it was almost entirely crowded out.

The show reverted to its shotgun approach used so badly earlier. The only benefit from this is that they may be on their way to reducing characters again. The two characters whose names I can never remember (Lauren and Marilyn) were told they were too rough on students. By the end, Lauren seemed to realize this. Marilyn did not. Hopefully, this could signal the end of her character. Previews also suggest that Danny has a limited future as well.

With any luck, the show will be distilled down to something great and sustainable. Guber has been defined as a serious character at last. Before, he was a caricature suffering from Vice Principal syndrome. He fired people seemingly at random and then became the classic "doormat" boyfriend.

Guber, Steven, Harry, Lauren, the former lawyer and Marla would make a great core cast. You could keep the others but be sure that you don't emphasize them too much. Guber and Steven could have their infamous arguments while Guber continues to try to date. Steven could argue with everyone and rub his "big, bald head." Harry is my favorite character and a chaos attractor. Lauren has been so underused this year that it's hard to remember how she was once the female counterpart Harry's role. The former lawyer (played by Jeri Ryan) could make new teacher mistakes. Finally, Marla is a great chaos attractor as well. She is the perfect person to just go off on something.

The probable result would be character based comedy instead of situation based comedy. The issue of the week could disappear altogether or become more subtle. Instead of preaching about the evils of skin magazines, they could have Scott Guber with a bad day. A student could do something realistic like punching someone in the hall. The teachers would react. There could even be a few episodes about pranks.

Oh well..."The West Wing" was a rerun and "Ed" was preempted so my next review will be about "Smackdown" tonight. It's the last event before "Wrestlemania" so it might be good. I hope to spend Sunday evening watching it with the Freys.

Ok, that spike on the old pain meter told me it was time to wrap up. I'm no longer on the brink of anything so no one has to worry. I am listening to yesterday as a wake up call, though.